Who knew...

• That all decent radio taxi companies would be overbooked between 5 am and 7 am on a normal working Delhi Wednesday!
  

• That I was actually capable of gulping breakfast at 4-30 am in the morning!

• That half of Delhi would be at the airport before 6 am on a cold, working, winter Wednesday morning!

• That I could sleep uninterrupted for 2 hours in the plane on a 2 hour flight!

• That Mumbai would be literally hot and humid at 9 am in the morning, making me look like a clown in my thick, hip-length, woollen jacket, beads of sweat adorning my forehead!

• That it would cost me less to travel to the Mumbai office from the airport, than it did to travel from my home to the Delhi airport, even though the distance in Delhi was half, and Mumbai is supposed to be the more expensive city!

• That Ashish would be the first person I'd meet when entering the office!

• That they would actually open a coffee shop and a library in the empty space downstairs!

• That my key would not just open my Mumbai office locker, but also all other adjacent lockers!

• That my locker would have held on to so much of what I used to be, of what I had done, and what I still am!

• That I would be typing this from the Mumbai office, and thinking, 'Though much is taken, much abides...'*!

* Ulysses by Tennyson

Delhi Shops and Sunset

 

Joie de vivre

May be it is the season. May be the decisions. May be it is the spirit of thanksgiving that Jessie sent my way, those wishes from Janine, Kevin’s encouraging letter... or may be the thought for the day (an excellent quote from Leonardo Da Vinci: “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”)

Whatever it is, the fact is I am feeling upbeat and alive and happy. Looking forward to each day, feeling empowered, making plans... and humming along. The road ahead isn’t exactly laid out for me, and the freedom will come at a cost. But the adventure of it all is simply irresistible.

I am rediscovering the urge to experiment and anticipate. To go for the uncommon, to discover the unknown. To learn new things, to be all that I can be. I am not bound, I am not confined. I can be myself, just like Jonathan Livingston. I am living my life and I am doing great!

Exhausted

Last couple of days of my vacation. Oh! I don’t want to get back to work again. Two weeks leave is a luxury, they tell me. . . that too my fifth one this year. And I still don’t feel rested. I feel more tired than I did when I went without a leave for one full year and without a weekend off for eight weeks in a row. And now, here I am. Ten days off in January, twelve days in March, two weeks in April, practically the entire month of May off, two weeks off again in June, and now two weeks spread over September and October. Well, April, May and June, I was sick, all the same those were weeks away from work.

To feel tired after having such a vacation spaced year, that’s not me. I just cannot make myself look forward to work. There is just one sentence repeating again and again at the back of my head – I need a break. And this one week and two week thing ain’t doing me any lasting good. For the most part, I have been a tired heap on my bed – a sleep deprived soul you’d think, who can never have enough of bedtime. I haven’t even visited the blog world, and my favorite blogs in the last few weeks.

I have managed to read a few books and watch some movies playing on TV though. I also did go out to witness the Puja festivities one day. It has been a full seven years since I was last home during Durga Puja . . . looking back, the years have just flown by. Years, full of friends made and lost, full of beautiful blends of happiness and sadness, triumphs and setbacks, holidays and work, exams and excursions, books and clothes, travel and movies, newspaper and TV . . .

I have felt tired earlier too, but never for so long at a stretch. A weekend off, a week of travel to new places or Christmas vacations with family have always rejuvenated me. But now, I have been tired for a year. I do need a break – a long one this time. Like Liz may be, though our circumstances are very different.

That is the thing that struck me as I was reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Eat Pray Love’. Sometimes very different circumstances can evoke very similar emotions in people. A friend had recommended it as a good one time read last fall. It had slipped off my mind as I was engrossed in Alan Greenspan’s Age of Turbulence then. Suddenly, my mind went back to that recommendation when I read in the local newspaper at the Delhi airport at the start of my vacation, that Julia Roberts was in India, to shoot for this movie. A few days later, I picked up a copy at Howrah station, when waiting to board the train from Kolkata for Patna.

Gilbert has dwelt in a little detail on traditional Hindu meditation and spiritualism, as well as local Bali customs. I couldn’t agree more with her on her thoughts about satisfying spiritual and material needs at the same time.

Should I take one year off too? May be read, travel, learn new languages or new crafts. I don’t know. . . I am still contemplating. Any ideas, suggestions are very welcome.

Introspective Insomniac

That’s me, these days. I can’t sleep. Worse, I can’t figure out why.

May be I’m worried. But I don’t feel worried. Rather, I feel totally in control of myself, my actions and my decisions. I feel that I rule my universe.

What is it, then? I am worried about something, and I don’t know that? Perhaps a fear or worry that is nagging at my subconscious? How do I get it to the fore? I don’t like not being able to sleep at night and then feeling drowsy all day.

I went to bed at 11-30 last night, hoping to fall asleep in a few minutes. But oh! The fairies of slumber simply refused to descend upon my eyes. Tossing and turning... right, left and center, eyes wide open. I tried with the air conditioner on, and I tried with the fan on and the windows open. All futile.

music. The music was okay, but it was heavily interspaced by the blabbering of one RJ who spoke in a constipated accent, trying to make herself sound anything but Indian, and ending up sounding like the empress of fake accents.

I ended up staring outside my windows... at the leave-laden branches and the dark blue sky. It is in these moments that I am at my introspective best. I replay my whole life till now. Suddenly, memories of inconsequential incidents warm up my heart, echoes of a friendly voice lift up my spirits, a phrase, an expression just floats in from somewhere making a bygone era come alive... and faces, voices, laughs, gazes carry me away.

All of that made me. In that light, my values are crystal clear. It is a moment of truth. I know exactly what I am doing. I know exactly what I should do. I feel content... I am entering a new world.

A sharp continuous sound disturbs my world. My phone has been ringing. There is light outside. I had fallen asleep.

Half a year in Delhi!

I am barely five days short of completing six months of having moved to New Delhi. And the city has grown on me. I won’t go to the extent of saying that I love it. . .yet! But it does remind me of home. And in spite of the harsh weather, I feel comfortable. Well, more or less.

I could do with more decent conduct in general, fewer ogling men, better public transportation, more safety for women, more disciplined traffic, cleaner roads, less show-off, fewer cheats and broader mindsets. But, I still like the city. It is like a treasure to be explored. I have not been too adventurous in my six months here. Partly because of the weather, and partly because of my health. But I have enjoyed capturing pictures of this city, even as I have rambled lazily over weekends.

This is the entrance to a wedding ceremony in the neighborhood.


This is a government official’s bunglow hidden by the trees in his lawn.


This is our Red Fort.


This is the colorful Meena Bazaar inside the Red Fort.


This is a structure inside the Red Fort premises.


This is my tea in the restaurant in the Red Fort premises.


The inspiration for this post is my conversation with Anu yesterday, who remarked that many people, especially people here, do not write a lot about the place they live in. Six months in this city did deserve a post from me!

Friends

A cup of tea and the whole universe to discuss.
Triumphs and setbacks. Career and hobbies. Heartbreak and joy. Family and relationships. Journeys and places. Parents and siblings. Traffic and weather. Frustration and hope. Memories and future. Love and hate. Marriage and friendship. Health and illness. Life and death. You and me.

We were, we are. Like fire and air. Like roots and leaves. Like mountain and sea. We are different and alike. A little different and very alike. Very different and very alike. . . like harmony in contradictions.

We meet and part. Sometimes, we meet again. Sometimes, after years. And yet whenever we meet, we start exactly where we left. . . a cup of tea, all those years, and us. Isn’t it amazing?

Simple words. Trivial questions. Nonchalantly mentioning your pains, when you hear about mine, making me think that we were never alone in our tribulations. Stating facts simply, as they are. No glorification, no downplaying. Wanting to know, offering to help, but knowing so well when to keep quiet, where not to ask more. Never judging, never prescribing. Sharing experiences, but never advising without being asked. You are you and I am me. And you know that just as well as I do.

I was reminded of something I read at the start of the last Harry Potter book - William Penn's words from More Fruits of Solitude:
'Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass, they see face to face; and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal.'